Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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