You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
