evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
