p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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