it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
