I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
