I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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