It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
