her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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