pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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