why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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