Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Plan B is the new Plan A
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
