38 yer olds are good kisserssss
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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