yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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