Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
