porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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