the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
