Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
