Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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