I CAN MOONWALK!
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
