I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just high enough for therapy.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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