Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
