I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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