how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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