grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
