guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he thought i was a dude.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Randomize
