sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
