Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize