You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
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