I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
