We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
