I am puke
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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