The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize