Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
What changed your mind?
Being sober
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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