Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
