I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
