I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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