I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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