hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
