Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
