I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
