Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
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