last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
