your thong is hanging out like whoa
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
