Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I am spending my child support on dildos
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize