My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
