Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
