My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize