so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
