Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
