we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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