Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
