Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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