remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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