Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
