doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
