is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
