My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
