16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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